I really have to apologize for the title of this article, but with the release of the final chapter of Peter Jackson's glorious trilogy on DVD in two weeks, I simply couldn't resist. (Try coming up with catchy titles for some of these articles. It's tougher than you think.) When it comes to cheese, I am no queen, much less a king, (Rocquefort, on the other hand, is the king of cheeses) so I believe that calling myself "vassal" is apt. Speaking of nobility in the world of cheese, I must applaud our newest writer, Wade. In less than a month, he has given us quite a few excellent and informative articles on cheese. Hopefully, his work will drive the more lazy writers (I'm referring to myself, specifically) to contribute more to this wonderful site. Anyways, I return from a bit of a hiatus to bring good news: Steingarten was right.
As for Homeland Security: My understanding of the FDA's new rules, which went into effect on December 12, is that foreign companies importing food into the US must now appoint a responsible agent within the US and must inform the FDA (through any of several methods, including the Internet) of the shipment at least four days before the shipment is set to arrive. There's nothing I can find in the new regulations regarding individuals' bringing in food. Remember, carrying in raw milk cheeses aged fewer than 60 days is still not allowable under the law and never has been--at least for the past 52 years. As I explained in the "Cheese Crise" chapter of "It Must've Been Something I Ate," the reason you can carry in illegal cheese with impunity is that the FDA has no inspectors at the airport, and the customs people who check your baggage couldn't care less about the FDA's war against real cheese. Everybody I spoke with denied there was a policy of benign, very benign, neglect. On many occasions I have followed the policy of "declare everything." I am always very explicit in what I declare; I write on the back of the form "raw milk cheeses aged for fewer than 60 days" and sometimes add, "in contravention of FDA regulations and statutes." The inspector reads it and waves me through. If the FDA were thoroughly concerned with homeland security, they would reassign everybody there who has been working against real cheese.
In the past six months or so, whenever traveling friends asked me what they could bring back from whatever exotic locale they were headed to, the answer was always immediate and definite: "Cheese!" (What else would you expect?) Most of them balked, claiming that they doubted they could get by customs. "But, but... Steingarten says..." I would whine. "Steingarten," they would scoff. "He's just some fancy writer from some fancy magazine. Can't you think of something less... stinky?" So now I have a liter of absinthe and about 20 Petit Bateau shirts. Finally, several weeks ago, Bill, one of my office-mates who was about embark on a Parisian vacation, took pity. "You front the dough, Connie, and I'll declare whatever cheese you can pay for." I was more than happy to oblige. Today, I received good news: Bill was back in the States, and he had my cheeses! And yes, he declared it. Apparently, when he went through customs, the first agent took a look at his list (bread, pastries, chocolate, and cheese) and marked a large red A (Hawthorne much?) on his sheet. The next agent took a look at it, and asked if he had anything to declare. He replied by parroting back his list. "Ah. An honest one," grinned the customs agent. He slapped Bill on the back, and sent him on his way home. So, tomorrow (fingers crossed), I believe that I will be opening my very own bag of raw milk epoisses (hopefully not gone wrong), camembert de normandie, langres and muenster.
Posted by connie at May 10, 2004 09:42 PM | TrackBack