We had a quick meeting today at work to talk about one of the most important issues our company is facing, one that may determine our future:
Odor eradication.
Seems that our next door neighbor has been overcome by the fumes from our ventilation system...some of their employees have gone home sick. They believe it is because of the noxious odors given off by our washed rind cave (ammonia is one of the by-products of the affinage, or aging process). Fanciful. Very fanciful. I'd love to use that as an excuse for a sick day!
We think they are just crying wolf and that the people who went home watched Todd Haynes' Safe too many times. We think they just don't like the toe jam stink. None of us here has ever been overcome by our arguably smelly work environment. No one at my previous workplace did either. But complaints are complaints, and we have to comply or our landlord could evict us.
So we will install another OZONATOR (leaves an incredibly strange feeling in your mouth, and produces a smell more fetid than any cheese, but I guess that's the smell of dead bacteria. Ugh!) and put our cheese boxes in sealed garbage bags. We will use air fresheners and fine perfume. And you know what will happen? For one month they will be happy. And then summer will be here and the stink will increase tenfold. So will the complaints.
We better start looking for a new home now!